user manual
A guide to how to interact with me, produced for work, but maybe of use to others. So published here.
My style
I’m honest but polite with it. I try to act with thought for the other person and their feelings. All information, good and bad, can and should be given honestly but carefully.
I love solving problems, particularly with systems. Be those human, computer or other systems. That said, the human problems tire me more than the other ones.
I have lots of strong opinions and 99% of them are loosely held. I’m always open to having my mind changed and expect the same from others.
As is common in business, I’ve done the Myers Brigg personality type test on more than one occasion, and each time I’m INFJ. I’m not sure that can fully encompass me as an individual, but it’s pretty on the nose in a lot of ways.
I hold myself and others to high standards and I feel disappointment when those standards are not met. Age and (some) wisdom is tempering this somewhat but like everyone I’m a work in progress and always will be. I get over it quickly and I’ll always try and help.
I have a horrible habit of not being able to hold a joke in, even if it’s inappropriate in the circumstance. On a call about a crashed server and an upset client? I’ll sort the problem but expect a few dad jokes along the way.
I believe that everyone should be able to seek truth in their own way. You do you as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else. Inclusivity and diversity are strengths. Any form of prejudice is absolutely unfathomable to me.
What I value
- Family - if you are in the circle that I call “family” (and it’s not defined by biology), then you come first to the exclusion of all else. I’m fiercely loyal and will help you in any way I can.
- Calmness - it’s rare that a situation is improved by panic
- Balance/Sustainability - You need to put on your own oxygen mask before helping others with theirs.
- Responsibility - both taking it and seeing others discharge it well, especially when it’s proactive in nature.
- Creativity - Solving problems and puzzles cannot be done by rote.
- Kindness - It’s free, it’s easy, it helps.
- Autonomy - I’m a finder, give me a broad remit and I’ll find the best way I can add value to a situation. Give me a problem, don’t dictate the solution.
- Growth - I’m always changing, I embrace and value this. Be it learning a new skill, changing opinions or just trying to be better at something.
- Mastery - I want to delve into the guts of something and really understand it. Surface level knowledge isn’t enough for me.
- Realism - Not everything is awesome all the time, but neither is it negative all the time. Accepting the negative exists allows you to enjoy the positive mindfully.
- Stoicism - You can control (mostly) your thoughts and actions, nothing else. Experience has taught me that trying to control the uncontrollable will lead to extreme unhappiness.
- Efficiency - Waste is bad. Be it time, energy or something more tangible. We all have finite resources.
- Bullet lists - they are awesome aren’t they?
Things I like
- Gardening - if I wasn't a software engineer, I'd probably be (trying) to do this.
- Gaming (both off and online).
- Reading. Mainly fiction, increasingly non-fiction.
- Music - if I'm not in a meeting during worktime, I'm listening to music.
- I've been known to write stories.
- I watch films at a rate that scares some people.
- Running when I can.
What I don't have patience for
- Rudeness.
- People who are capable of solving a problem, but prefer to moan about it instead.
- Repeating the same mistake over and over.
- People not accepting responsibility or shifting blame - mistakes happen, it’s fine - own it.
- Endless meetings - they sap energy and don’t achieve much
- Asking the same question and expecting a different answer.
- Anything that wastes my time or energy.
- Arbitrary deadlines.
How I work
I’m quite regimented in my hours so that I can spend time with my kids (and do the school run). I work:
- 6am - 2.30pm Monday, Thursday and Friday
- 7.30am - 5pm Tuesday and Wednesday.
On all days I’ll be doing a school run 8.20ish - 8.50ish. Outside of these hours I am contactable in absolute emergencies only.
Meetings should be blocked together. 3 - 4 meetings in a day is more than enough.
My work often involves deep focus so I need a decent expanse of time in the day to load things into my head and get going.
How best to communicate with me
- No cold calls except in emergencies.
- Something asynchronous first like Slack/discord/whatsapp.
- If you have something that is best done verbally, take a look at my calendar (if you can) or just request a quick call with me and I’ll reach out as soon as I’m able to confirm it.
- Things that are better verbally are anything that needs explanation from or to me, or if you need me to make a decision that’s non-trivial.
I’m ruthless with notifications, I barely get any in an effort to maintain focus.
Emails are checked once or twice a day, so if it’s urgent a DM is better. I’ll see it sooner and am more likely to read and respond.
What people misunderstand about me
Sometimes people think I’m grumpy and I’m often told I don’t smile enough. Most of the time I’m not grumpy but my default facial setting appears to be “mildly annoyed” or “unhappy about something”. It’s not the case.
I tend to be quite vocal in meetings etc, but this is very much a learned behaviour as an introvert with anxiety who can’t stand awkward silence. I do find it tiring, so if I’m reluctant to put myself forward to talk to people this is why.
I’m hyper organised (I’d explain my ‘system’ but it would probably scare you). People often see this as a sign of compulsion, it’s not. It’s a set of tools that I have evolved to be as efficient as I can and to also allow me to focus as best I can on what really matters.
Why I do what I do
To quote “The Mythical Man Month” by Fredrick P. Brooks Jnr:
Why is programming fun? What delights may its practitioner expect as his reward?
First is the sheer joy of making things. As the child delights in his mud pie, so the adult enjoys building things, especially things of his own design. I think this delight must be an image of God's delight in making things, a delight shown in the distinctness and newness of each leaf and each snowflake.
Second is the pleasure of making things that are useful to other people. Deep within, we want others to use our work and to find it helpful. In this respect the programming system is not essentially different from the child's first clay pencil holder "for Daddy's office."
Third is the fascination of fashioning complex puzzle-like objects of interlocking moving parts and watching them work in subtle cycles, playing out the consequences of principles built in from the beginning. The programmed computer has all the fascination of the pinball machine or the jukebox mechanism, carried to the ultimate.
Fourth is the joy of always learning, which springs from the non repeating nature of the task. In one way or another the problem is ever new, and its solver learns something: sometimes practical, sometimes theoretical, and sometimes both.
Finally, there is the delight of working in such a tractable medium. The programmer, like the poet, works only slightly removed from pure thought-stuff. He builds his castles in the air, from air, creating by exertion of the imagination. Few media of creation are so flexible, so easy to polish and rework, so readily capable of realizing grand conceptual structures.
How I like feedback
Candidly with compassion and kindness. Make it constructive. I’ll ask questions so have answers ready and be prepared to dig in. I’m always happy to change or compromise, but I’ll rarely do it with anyone who is rude.
It's helpful if you send me something beforehand so I can get things straight in my head before we talk, I don't like being caught cold and I obviously want the conversation to be valuable.
What makes me feel good at work
- Solving problems for people and getting things working well.
- Working together to build something that is as good as we can make.
- No surprises - things running smoothly without major error.
- Watching people grow and take on responsibility.
- Putting good into the world, seeing the impact we have.
- Being better today than we were yesterday.
What makes me feel bad at work
- Deadlines - they are often arbitrary and useless other than as a stick to beat people with.
- People who don’t or won’t understand that sometimes things break. No system is perfect.
- Unclear objectives - if you can’t work with me to explore what it is you want, how can I possibly build it for you.
- A them/us attitude between people all trying to achieve the same thing.
- People not following a process, then things going wrong.